It’s here. The event of the century. The one we’ve all been waiting for with dread.
A selection of humor to help you prepare:
Trump Planning To Throw Lie About Immigrant Crime Rate Out There Early In Debate To Gauge How Much He Can Get Away With
HEMPSTEAD, NY—Saying he would probably introduce the falsehood in his opening statement or perhaps during his response to the night’s first question, Republican nominee Donald Trump reported Monday he was planning to throw out a blatant lie about the level of crime committed by immigrants early in the first presidential debate to gauge how much he’d be allowed to get away with. More…
MORE AMERICANS EXPECTED TO SELF-MEDICATE THAN FOR ANY OTHER DEBATE IN HISTORY
With over a hundred million people projected to watch the debate, roughly sixty million of them will be barely sentient after ingesting what they deem to be the necessary dose of intoxicants. More…
Blindfolded Clinton Invites Debate Coaches To Attack Her With Talking Points From All Sides
Standing slightly crouched with her fists raised up in front of her in the middle of her campaign office’s mock stage, a blindfolded Hillary Clinton reportedly implored her high-level staffers to attack her with talking points from all sides Wednesday in preparation for next week’s first presidential debate. More…
TRUMP WARNS THAT CLINTON WILL RIG DEBATE BY USING FACTS
“You just watch, folks,” Trump told supporters in Toledo, Ohio. “Crooked Hillary is going to slip in little facts all night long, and that’s how she’s going to try to rig the thing.” More…
Stay safe out there.
Poll: 89% Of Debate Viewers Tuning In Solely To See Whether Roof Collapses
“Of the 2,000 individuals surveyed, we found that nearly nine in 10 said they would be watching tonight’s debate on the off-chance that they might get to witness the roof of Hofstra University’s Hagedorn Hall suddenly cave in and crush the nominees for president,” said Quinnipiac spokesman Michael Jovan.
Clay Bennett, Chattanooga Times Free Press
Lester Holt Begins Debate By Reminding Audience These The Candidates They Chose
“So, just as a recap: You had numerous options and a full year to decide on the candidates you wanted to be your next president, and these were the two you picked. These two. Right here. All right, now let’s begin.”
Viewers Impressed By How Male Trump Looked During Debate
“He conducted himself in an extremely male manner all night long regardless of the topic he was discussing, and that definitely resonated with me. I can easily see him being male for the next four years.” Viewers admitted that while Hillary Clinton seemed intelligent and capable throughout the debate, she failed to project the suitable male demeanor necessary to hold the Oval Office.
Last night’s debate, or the mansplaining Olympics
HILLARY CLINTON: Look at me. Now look at Donald Trump. Now at me. Now at Donald Trump. Donald Trump is actually on the presidential debate stage right now. With me, a former senator and secretary of state. Donald Trump. Also, I have actual plans.
Hopeless Resignation Receives Massive Post-Debate Bump
Previous posts on political cartoons and the 2016 election:
Positive Trump cartoons
Humor in America 