Tag Archives: health and humor
You can tell it’s the flu season. DayQuil is flying off the shelves like it has wings, and suddenly people are acting with this incredible generosity — sharing their bodily fluids with us all in arching streams of flying globules every time they sneeze or cough. True altruists, they make no effort to hoard their treasures or block our access to them, coughing uninhibited by hand or arm, sneezing as though it were an Olympic event, going for the glory in maximum volume, distance and splatter area.
You know who I mean.
You hear them before you see them, and they seem to especially love the grocery store at this time of year, wandering among the fresh fruit and vegetables, spreading the love and touching every piece of produce. Though you shouldn’t get your hopes up too high: since they never seem to wipe their noses except on their sleeves, their hands are probably remarkably clean.
Now I’m not talking about the folks who selfishly hoard their fluids, clutching their wadded-up tissues or grabbing at paper towels provided in the produce or meat sections; I’m not talking about those hoarders who buy a fresh box of tissues just to be able to open it now, or who furtively cough into their hand, down into the neck of their sweater, or into the crook of their arm, as though they’re trying to keep it secret from the rest of us. I don’t know what ‘s up with these people; their mothers must not have taught them right — they don’t know the first thing about sharing.
No, I’m talking about those generous souls who want to make sure that we all get a piece of the action. They never pick unless they flick — or wipe thoughtfully on the underside of handles, giving all who come behind them the thrill of that unexpected encounter with riches.
You know who you are.
There was this especially openhearted soul in the grocery store the other day. Continue reading →